THE SIX THINGS I COULD NEVER DO WITHOUT: cram a chocolate bar into your ice cream and remember me

let’s assume that every time you load up qwantz.com some comics display and NOT a series of hypnotic spirals that leave you thinking you read comics while programming you to do my bidding

OKAY HERE’S A FUN THING TO LEARN ABOUT: space is only 350km up! This means that if ‘xkcd’ author Randall Munroe were put into an appropriate orbit, the vast majority of humanity would be closer to him than to Australia. This statistic applies to both physical distance, and emotionally.

based on the movie “teen wolf” which i am reliably informed was marketed as a direct sequel to “back to the future” overseas because they starred the same guy and hah hah hah WHY NOT

“peer to peer pressure,” i say, putting my baseball cap on backwards so you know that even though i’m your assigned counselor i’m still way bodacious

“right now I get by with assuming that what doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger, and also if it does kill me then honestly that’d be a real nice break from these chest pains”

I’ve got my own problems™

english cows say “moo” but french cows say “meu”, i learnt this from a cartoon cow on bilingual carton of milk many years ago when i was but a lad

ladders may be considered to be a special and perhaps degenerate case of stairs

“Whoah, Did You See That?! 99 Fun Nipslips You May Have Missed” = eight weeks at the top of the bestseller list MINIMUM