i ate too many sauced wings of a chicken, now my stomach is stretched beyond what i consider to be comfortable

this is a gross recipe, there’s no spices, nobody make this unless you add some dried and flaked vegetable matter to the fleshy mash

i’m pretty sure this wouldn’t be cannibalism, this would be more like us eating a super smart ape who can talk and feel and drive cars. wait that’s still awful okay nevermind

TODO: look at all human achievement and think “someone who tastes like pork did this”. A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO TASTE LIKE PORK PUT CAR-SIZED ROBOTS ON FRIGGIN’ MARS; HOW’S THAT TASTE??

Inside the box are grey cubes. “Put Them In Your Mouth And Swallow”, the instructions say. I do it. Thirty seconds later, I’m outside running around and having fun while the rest of you chumps are still just sitting down and putting the dressing on your salads!!