i’ve spent about ten minutes considering how pizza hole could restrict this promotion and i have concluded that it was probably doomed from the start

merchandise! patronage! comics! 

DID YOU KNOW: the expression “holy cow” could have come from an earlier expression “holey cow”, referring to a cow with holes in it?  it’s actually technically possible!!

merchandise!  patronage!

this comic: inspired by holes

all the celebs reading my comic who are currently having an affair are thinking “OH SHOOT DOES RYAN KNOW? OH SHOOT IS THIS BLACKMAIL? OH SHOOT I’VE GOT A LOT OF INTERESTING READING TO DO TO TEASE APART WHAT’S GOING ON HERE VIS-À-VIS BLACKMAIL AND ITS INNATE CRIMINALITY”

here’s to another uneventful day here at the bottom of a hole! yes sir, there’s definitely nothing that could ruin this presumably-sunny day! wait, what’s that - a whistling sound, as if a high-pitched and airy slide whistle is slowly descending to a lower note??